I’m Depressed, having PTSD and I’m also a Masturbation Addict. I need help

Greetings to the doctor that will be answering this question. Before I start, I would like to introduce myself. My name’s Benji (obviously not a real name but a pen name that I used often) a 20 years old male who is struggling with Depression, PTSD and Masturbation problem.

I know it’s kinda weird having so many problems but that is the truth. I was diagnosed with Depression by a doctor and also my therapist. I was referred to a hospital and was referred to a doctor. I’ve told the doctor what i’ve been experiencing such as suicidal thoughts, the lack of interest to the activity that I love the most and having so many thoughts that could lead to the me killing myself. I also have been going through a lot. When I went to meet the doctor, they dismissed me saying that I am just stressed as I was only 18 years old back then saying that I need to seek religious help and not think of it. It makes me feel bad, I tried to convince the doctor but she dismissed me and even make me feel very bad and sad by even calling her colleague and made fun of me by saying i’m just making things up.

It hurts to the extend that I never went to any doctors anymore until a year later when I further my studies in Undergraduate that a classmate of mine introduce me to a therapist. She is nice and she has been keeping track of all my problems and helping cope with it. As she is only a master student and not really qualified in therapy, she told me that I really need to seek help from a certified psychiatrist as I may need prescription. She diagnosed me having PTSD after what happen to me in highschool and after what happen to me regarding my family. We talked about it but then we stop meeting as she has finish her Masters. Now that she’s gone, I am all alone again and I have no one to depend on. I am very scared to go to the hospital as they will likely dismissed and make fun of me again like before. I am so scared, I am having so many suicidal thoughts and I feel like killing myself is the only way out of it. My friend suggested that I seek a doctor and ask for a prescription as I am out of hand nowadays (She is currently on Anti-Depressant and she said it is helping her)

As my mental health goes downhill, I developed a habit of masturbating and I became addicted to it that I masturbate almost 4-5 times a day and sometimes my Penis hurt from all of it. I want to stop but I don’t know how. Just by looking at an attractive guy (Yeah I am gay) makes me have this thoughts and turns me on, interrupting my day as I have the urge to masturbate. This is really bad and I was wondering if there is any prescription to help decrease my sexual drive so I could live a healthy life without having to masturbate every 4-5 times a day.

I hope you can me with this problem as I have developed a phobia to seek f2f doctor’s help after what happen to me a few years ago. Thank You.